November 2, 2012

Sometimes networking is really needed.

I never “networked” through the years. Even though it was clearly the thing to do. I kept a small group of friends and never really expanded into the land of acquaintances. I think that's biting me in the ass now.

It never occurred to me that I might need people other than my small group. In my late teens and early twenties, I was incredibly co-dependent. There was a person in my life that warped my mind to the point that I couldn't even make the simplest decision without his approval. Once I got out of that situation I repaired what friendships I could and decided at that point they would be all I needed. I became fiercely independent. I didn't want any help with my life. If I was given advice, I would smile, nod, and throw it out the window.

I suppose I'm still like that a bit. I'm learning to listen to advice. Though much to the chagrin of the advice givers, I ask way too many questions with it. I want to know the hows and whys they think that will help me. I tear the advice into pieces, examine, and over-analyze it. Even though the advice is well meant and could help me, I feel like I have to have control over it still. I realize that it's detrimental to me and I still have to work on it. So maybe that's some sort of progress there.

The point of that little tangent is with all of that I couldn't fathom letting someone who basically a stranger into my life. I felt that I didn't need their opinions and I certainly didn't want them. Now, while I'm still independent... I could use a larger group of people. My friends have full lives of work, relationships (marriage), kids, and their own social groups. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy they all have full lives, but it's easy for me to see how empty mine is by comparison. It's not quite jealousy... more loneliness and a bit of isolation.

Not to mention it's hard to do something for a charity when you don't have any one to “pledge” on your behalf (I will tell you all about that when I have all of the details nailed down.).

I definitely need to figure out how to meet people and make new friends.

Until next time, seriously how do I meet new people again?