October 31, 2008

Samhain Blessings

"Hark! Hark to the wind! 'Tis the night, they say, When all souls come back from the far away- The dead, forgotten this many a day!"- Virna Sheard

Welcome back to the second post and Happy Samhain to you all. I hope that you are all enjoying it and celebrating in whichever way suits you best. Before I get into the meat of today's entry I just wanted to mention a few things.

The first being that I have definitely lost whats left of my mind. At the last minute I signed up for NaBloPoMo.... National Blog Posting Month. While that doesn't seem so horrid, I'm also continuing my tradition with NaNoWriMo. This is the first time I've taken them both on at the same time. 30 days of blogs and a novel in one month, added to my other dedicated writings. May brain may explode, and I've never been so excited about that prospect before. The second thing I wanted to mention is if you are participating in either of these projects let me know. I need writing buddies. Finally, I'm also going to attempt to write on BeShameless daily. I make no promises there but that's the goal. Like I said I've lost my mind.

So... yea it's totally Samhain. One of my favorite holidays. It's not my favorite, which is odd considering my love affair with all things Autumn and spooky. But, it's definitely in my top 3. Honestly, until a few years ago I could take it or leave it. I enjoyed the rituals and the idea behind it. It just never affected me.

Though, as I said that was a few years ago. I ended up being reminded about a lesser aspect of the holiday in a big way. The biggest part of the Samhain ritual is the respect to the dead, the rememberance, and offering to ancestors.

My teacher celebrated an addition to it. It was, after-all the New Year. A time for change, a time for resolutions, and a time for personal growth. Oh, I hated it. I hated to change, I loved my routine and where I thought I was. I thought the parts he added were pointless. Still... I did it his way when I was a student. Yep, I was extremely oblivious to life...

After our paths split, I didn't those aspects to my first solo Samhain ritual. I split the pomegranate, I did a dumb supper. I did a very generalized ritual. I thought it worked well for me. The wheel turned and it was time for me to do the second solo.

This time however my world fell apart. October 3oth was the end of that person. I'm not going to share the details of the black pit my life became. Let's just say that since I didn't change and grow the universe did it for me. I lost things that I held close. I had no balance in my life. So my choice then became to stay in my miserable existance or to change.

I changed, I grew, I learned. I became me. It wasn't easy and it wasn't fun; but, it was worth it. I found my friends who helped me along the way. Now I'm not so dense as to think that it was simply because I didn't do that part of the ritual. I see now that I was headed into a tailspin.

It did teach me that the part of the ritual was a subconcious cue. And that words, and thoughts have more power than a 18 year old girl could imagine. While my ritual won't take place till tomorrow, it will definitely include resolutions and my celebration of the coming New Year.

Until next time, I will change, grow, and learn.